Thus have I heard. On one occasion the Blessed One was dwelling at Sāvatthi, in Jeta‘s Grove, at Anāthapiṇḍika‘s park. On this occasion, there was a certain householder whose only son, who was loved by him and pleasing to him, had died. Because of that death, he did not work or eat. He would go to the cemetery and cry, “My only son, where are you? My only son, where are you?”
Then that householder approached the Blessed One, paid respects to him, and sat to one side. When the householder was seated to one side, the Blessed One said to him, “Householder, you do not appear to have a stable mind. You appear to be deranged.”
“Bhante, how could I not be deranged? Bhante, my only son, who I loved and was pleased by, has died. Because of that death, I do not work or eat. I go to the cemetery and cry, ‘My only son, where are you? My only son, where are you?’”
“That‘s how it is, householder, that‘s how it is! Householder, sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection1; they come from affection.”
“Bhante, how can you think that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection? Bhante, delight and elation are born from affection; they come from affection.” That householder did not delight in the Blessed One‘s speech; he condemned it, rose from his seat, and left.
On this occasion, several gamblers were playing with dice not far from the Blessed One. Then the householder approached those gamblers and said to them, “Sirs, here I approached the contemplative Gotama, paid respects to him, and sat to one side. When I was seated to one side, the Blessed One said to me, ‘Householder, you do not appear to have a stable mind. You appear to be deranged.’ Sirs, when this was said, I said to the contemplative Gotama, ‘Bhante, how could I not be deranged? Bhante, my only son, who I loved and was pleased by, has died. Because of that death, I do not work or eat. I go to the cemetery and cry, “My only son, where are you? My only son, where are you?”’ ‘That‘s how it is, householder, that‘s how it is! Householder, sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection; they come from affection.’ ‘Bhante, how can you think that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection? Bhante, delight and elation are born from affection; they come from affection.’ Then, sirs, I did not delight in the contemplative Gotama‘s speech; I condemned it, rose from my seat, and left.”
“That‘s how it is, householder, that‘s how it is! Householder, delight and elation are born from affection; they come from affection.”
Then that householder left, thinking “The gamblers agree with me.”
An account of this conversation eventually entered the royal palace. Then King Pasenadi of Kosala said to Queen Mallikā2, “Mallikā, this was said by the contemplative Gotama: ‘Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection; they come from affection.’”
“Great King, if that is what the Blessed One said, then that‘s how it is.”
“No matter what the contemplative Gotama says, Mallikā approves of it in this way: ‘Great King, if that is what the Blessed One said, then that‘s how it is.’ It is just like when a teacher says something to a student, the student always approves of it by saying ‘That‘s how it is, teacher! That‘s how it is, teacher!’ In the same way, Mallikā, no matter what the contemplative Gotama says, you approve of it in this way: ‘Great King, if that is what the Blessed One said, then that‘s how it is.’ Bah! Mallikā, get lost!”
Then Queen Mallikā addressed the brahmin Nāḷijangha, “Brahmin, go to the Blessed One, and with your head at his feet, revere him with my words: ‘Bhante, Queen Mallikā reveres you with her head at your feet, and asks if you are unafflicted, healthy, unburdened, strong, and comfortable.’ Then say, ‘Bhante, did the Blessed One make the statement “Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection; they come from affection”?’ As the Blessed One explains, carefully learn what he says and report it to me. Tathāgatas do not speak what is not true.”
“Yes, Madam,” the brahmin Nāḷijangha replied to Queen Mallikā. He approached the Blessed One and conversed with him. After engaging in the appropriate polite conversation, the brahmin Nāḷijangha sat to one side and said to the Blessed One, “Sir Gotama, Queen Mallikā reveres Sir Gotama with her head at your feet. She asks if you are unafflicted, healthy, unburdened, strong, and comfortable. She also says, ‘Bhante, did the Blessed One make the statement “Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection; they come from affection”?’”
“That‘s how it is, Brahmin, that‘s how it is! Brahmin, sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection; they come from affection. Brahmin, there is a way that one can understand that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection.
“Brahmin, in the past there was a woman here in Sāvatthi whose mother died. Because of that death, she was distraught and mentally disturbed; she would go from street to street, from intersection to intersection, saying ‘Have you seen my mother? Have you seen my mother?’ Brahmin, this is a way that one can understand that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection.
“Brahmin, in the past there was a woman here in Sāvatthi whose father… brother… sister… son… daughter… husband died. Because of that death, she was distraught and mentally disturbed; she would go from street to street, from intersection to intersection, saying ‘Have you seen my husband? Have you seen my husband?’ Brahmin, this is a way that one can understand that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection.
“Brahmin, in the past there was a man here in Sāvatthi whose mother… father… brother… sister… son… daughter… wife died. Because of that death, he was distraught and mentally disturbed; he would go from street to street, from intersection to intersection, saying ‘Have you seen my wife? Have you seen my wife?’ Brahmin, this is a way that one can understand that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection.
“Brahmin, in the past there was a woman here in Sāvatthi who went to visit her relatives. Her relatives separated her from her husband and wanted to give her to a different man. She did not want that. Then that woman said to her husband, ‘Noble sir, my relatives have separated me from you and want to give me to a different man. I do not want that.’ Then that man cut the woman in two and sliced himself open, saying ‘We will be together after death.’ Brahmin, this is a way that one can understand that sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection.”
Then the brahmin Nāḷijangha delighted in and approved of the Blessed One‘s speech. He rose from his seat, went to Queen Mallikā, and reported to her his entire conversation with the Blessed One.
Then Queen Mallikā went to King Pasenadi and said to him, “What do you think, Great King – do you feel affection for Princess Vajiri3?”
“Yes, Mallikā, I feel affection for Princess Vajiri.”
“What do you think, Great King – if there was a catastrophic change4 in Princess Vajiri, would you experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Mallikā, if there was a catastrophic change in Princess Vajiri, it would seriously alter my life. How could I not experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Great King, when the Blessed One, the One who Knows and Sees, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One, said ‘Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection,’ this is what he was referring to.
“What do you think, Great King – do you feel affection for Lady Vāsabhā5?”
“Yes, Mallikā, I feel affection for Lady Vāsabhā.”
“What do you think, Great King – if there was a catastrophic change in Lady Vāsabhā, would you experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Mallikā, if there was a catastrophic change in Lady Vāsabhā, it would seriously alter my life. How could I not experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Great King, when the Blessed One, the One who Knows and Sees, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One, said ‘Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection,’ this is what he was referring to.
“What do you think, Great King – do you feel affection for General Viḍūḍabha6?”
“Yes, Mallikā, I feel affection for General Viḍūḍabha.”
“What do you think, Great King – if there was a catastrophic change in General Viḍūḍabha, would you experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Mallikā, if there was a catastrophic change in General Viḍūḍabha, it would seriously alter my life. How could I not experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Great King, when the Blessed One, the One who Knows and Sees, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One, said ‘Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection,’ this is what he was referring to.
“What do you think, Great King – do you feel affection for me?”
“Yes, Mallikā, I feel affection for you.”
“What do you think, Great King – if there was a catastrophic change in me, would you experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Mallikā, if there was a catastrophic change in you, it would seriously alter my life. How could I not experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Great King, when the Blessed One, the One who Knows and Sees, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One, said ‘Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection,’ this is what he was referring to.
“What do you think, Great King – do you feel affection for the Kāsi district of Kosala?”
“Yes, Mallikā, I feel affection for the Kāsi district of Kosala. Mallikā, it is because of power over the Kāsi district of Kosala that we use sandalwood from Kāsi and wear jewelry, fragrances, and cosmetics.”
“What do you think, Great King – if there was a catastrophic change in the Kāsi district of Kosala, would you experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Mallikā, if there was a catastrophic change in the Kāsi district of Kosala, it would seriously alter my life. How could I not experience sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish?”
“Great King, when the Blessed One, the One who Knows and Sees, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One, said ‘Sorrow, grief, pain, dejection, and anguish are born from affection and come from affection,’ this is what he was referring to.”
“Wonderful, Mallikā! Marvelous, Mallikā! The Blessed One sees so much, with penetrative wisdom. Come, Mallikā, bathe me.”
Then King Pasenadi of Kosala rose from his seat, arranged his upper robe on one shoulder, extended his hands, with palms together, towards the Blessed One, and proclaimed three times: “Homage to the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One! Homage to the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One! Homage to the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One!”
Thus have I heard: At one time the Lord was staying near Sāvatthī in the Jeta Grove in Anāthapiṇḍika's monastery. Now at that time the dear and beloved little only son of a certain householder had passed away. After he had passed away, he (the father) had no inclination for work or for food. Going constantly to the cemetery, he wailed: “Where are you, little only son? Where are you, little only son?”
Then that householder approached the Lord; having approached, having greeted the Lord, he sat down at a respectful distance. The Lord spoke thus to that householder as he was sitting down at a respectful distance: “Have not you, householder, controlling faculties for stilling your own mind? There is a change in your faculties.” “But how could there be no change in my faculties, Lord? For, Lord, my dear and beloved little only son has passed away. Since he passed away I have no inclination for work or food. Going constantly to the cemetery, I wail: ‘Where are you, little only son? Where are you, little only son?’” “That is just it, householder. For, householder, grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.” “But for whom, Lord, could this hold good in this way: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection?’ For, Lord, bliss and happiness are born of affection, originate in affection.” Then the householder, not rejoicing in what the Lord had said, repudiating it, rising from his seat, departed.
Now at that time a number of gamblers were playing dice not far from the Lord. Then that householder approached these gamblers; having approached, he spoke thus to these gamblers: “Now, I, sirs, approached the recluse Gotama; having approached, having greeted the recluse Gotama, I sat down at a respectful distance. Then, sirs, the recluse Gotama spoke thus to me as I was sitting down at a respectful distance: ‘Have not you, householder, controlling faculties for stilling your own mind? There is a change in your faculties.’ ‘But how could there be no change in my faculties, Lord? For, Lord, my dear and beloved little only son has passed away. Since he passed away I have no inclination for work or food. Going constantly to the cemetery, I wail: “Where are you, little only son? Where are you, little only son?”’ ‘That is just it, householder. For, householder, grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’ ‘But for whom, Lord, could this hold good in this way: “Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection?” For, Lord, bliss and happiness are born of affection, originate in affection.’ Then I, sirs, not rejoicing in what the Lord had said, repudiating it, rising from my seat, departed.” “That is just it, householder, that is just it, householder; for, householder, bliss and happiness are born of affection, originate in affection.” Then the householder, thinking: “There is agreement between me and the gamblers,” departed.
Then this subject of conversation gradually penetrated the royal palace. And King Pasenadi of Kosala spoke thus to Queen Mallikā: “This was said to these, Mallikā, by the recluse Gotama: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’” “If this, sire, was said by the Lord, it is so.” “As the recluse Gotama speaks so does Mallikā because she is much delighted with him: ‘If this, sire, was said by the Lord, it is so.’ It is just as when a teacher speaks to his pupil and the pupil is so much delighted with him that he says ‘It is just so, teacher, it is just so, teacher.’ Even so do you, Mallikā, because you are so much delighted with what the recluse Gotama says, say: ‘If this, sire, was said by the Lord, it is so.’ Be off, Mallikā, go away.”
Then Queen Mallikā summoned the brahman Nāḷijaṅgha, and said: “Come you, brahman, approach the Lord; having approached, in my name salute the Lord's feet with your head and ask whether he is well, not indisposed, of bodily vigour, strong, abiding in comfort; and say: ‘Lord, Queen Mallikā salutes the Lord's feet with her head, and asks whether he is well, not indisposed, of bodily vigour, strong, abiding in comfort.’ and then say: ‘Revered sir, were these words spoken by the Lord: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection?’ And when you have mastered well what the Lord explains to you, you must tell me. For Tathāgatas do not speak against the truth.” “Yes, madam,” and the brahman Nāḷijaṅgha, having answered Queen Mallikā in assent, approached the Lord; having approached, he exchanged greetings with the Lord; having conversed in a courteous and friendly way, he sat down at a respectful distance.
As he was sitting down at a respectful distance, the brahman Nāḷijaṅgha, spoke thus to the Lord; “Good Gotama, Queen Mallikā with her head salutes the good Gotama's feet and asks whether he is well, not indisposed, of bodily vigour, strong, abiding in comfort. And she speaks thus: ‘Revered sir, were these words spoken by the Lord: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection?’ “It is just so, brahman, it is just so, brahman. For, brahman, grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.
And this is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's mother had passed away. Since her passing away, she (the daughter), unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my mother? Have you not seen my mother?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's father had passed away. Since his passing away, she, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my father? Have you not seen my father?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's brother had passed away. Since his passing away, she, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my brother? Have you not seen my brother?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's sister had passed away. Since her passing away, she, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my sister? Have you not seen my sister?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's son had passed away. Since his passing away, she, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my son? Have you not seen my son?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's daughter had passed away. Since her passing away, she, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my daughter? Have you not seen my daughter?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain woman's husband had passed away. Since his passing away, she, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my husband? Have you not seen my husband?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's mother had passed away. Since her passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my mother? Have you not seen my mother?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's father had passed away. Since his passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my father? Have you not seen my father?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's brother had passed away. Since his passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my brother? Have you not seen my brother?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's sister had passed away. Since her passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my sister? Have you not seen my sister?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's son had passed away. Since his passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my son? Have you not seen my son?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's daughter had passed away. Since her passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my daughter? Have you not seen my daughter?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī a certain man's wife had passed away. Since her passing away, he, unbalanced and unhinged, went from street to street, from cross-road to cross-road, saying: ‘Have you not seen my wife? Have you not seen my wife?’
This too is a way, brahman, in which it can be said that grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection: Once upon a time, brahman, in this very Sāvatthī, a certain woman went to her relation's family. Those relations of hers, having forcibly taken her from her husband, desired to give her to another, but she did not want him. Then that woman spoke thus to her husband: ‘These relations of mine, master, having forcibly taken me from you, want to give me to another, but I do not want him.’ Then that man, having cut that woman in two, destroyed himself, thinking: ‘We will both come to be hereafter.’”
Then the brahman Nāḷijaṅgha, having rejoiced in what the Lord had said, having given thanks, rising from his seat approached Queen Mallikā; having approached, he recounted to her the whole of the conversation he had had with the Lord. Then Queen Mallikā approached King Pasenadi; having approached, she spoke thus to King Pasenadi: “What do you think about this, sire? Is your daughter Vajīrī dear to you?” “Yes, Mallikā. My daughter Vajīrī is dear to me.” “What do you think about this, sire? From an alteration and otherness in your daughter Vajīrī would there arise in you grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “From an alteration and otherness, Mallikā, in my daughter Vajīrī there would be a change for me, even for life. How should there not arise in me grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “It was in reference to this, sire, that it was said by the Lord, who knows, who sees, perfected one, fully Self-Awakened One: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’
What do you think about this, sire? Is the noble lady Vāsabhā dear to you?” “Yes, Mallikā, the noble lady Vāsabhā is dear to me.” “What do you think about this, sire? From an alteration and otherness in the noble lady Vāsabhā would there arise in you grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “From an alteration and otherness, Mallikā, in the noble lady Vāsabhā there would be a change for me, even for life. How should there not arise in me grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “It was in reference to this, sire, that it was said by the Lord, who knows, who sees, perfected one, fully Self-Awakened One: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’
What do you think about this, sire? Is the General Viḍūḍabha dear to you?” “Yes, Mallikā, the General Viḍūḍabha is dear to me.” “What do you think about this, sire? From an alteration and otherness in the General Viḍūḍabha would there arise in you grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “From an alteration and otherness, Mallikā, in the General Viḍūḍabha there would be a change for me, even for life. How should there not arise in me grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “It was in reference to this, sire, that it was said by the Lord, who knows, who sees, perfected one, fully Self-Awakened One: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’
What do you think about this, sire? Am I dear to you?” “Yes, Mallikā, you are dear to me.” “What do you think about this, sire? From an alteration and otherness in me would there arise in you grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “From an alteration and otherness in you, Mallikā, there would be a change for me, even for life. How should there not arise in me grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “It was in reference to this, sire, that it was said by the Lord, who knows, who sees, perfected one, fully Self-Awakened One: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’
What do you think about this, sire? Are the peoples of Kāsi and Kosala dear to you?” “Yes, Mallikā, the peoples of Kāsi and Kosala are dear to me. Because of their might we obtain sandal wood from the country of Kāsi and use sweet-smelling garlands and perfumes.” “What do you think about this, sire? From an alteration and otherness in the peoples of Kāsi and Kosala would there arise in you grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “From an alteration and otherness, Mallikā, in the peoples of Kāsi and Kosala there would be a change for me, even for life. How should there not arise in me grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair?” “It was in reference to this, sire, that it was said by the Lord, who knows, who sees, perfected one, fully Self-Awakened One: ‘Grief, sorrow, suffering, lamentation and despair are born of affection, originate in affection.’
bd: This wold seem to be a Brahminical ceremony and utterance. Elsewhere the Buddha sets the example of only honouring Dhamma. It is wonderful, Mallikā, it is marvellous, Mallikā, how much the Lord, penetrating through wisdom, sees by means of wisdom. Come, Mallikā, let me wash (ceremonially).” Then King Pasenadi, rising from his seat, having arranged his upper garment over one shoulder, having saluted the Lord with joined palms, three times uttered this solemn utterance: “Praise to the Lord, the perfected one, the fully Self-Awakened One. “Praise to the Lord, the perfected one, the fully Self-Awakened One. “Praise to the Lord, the perfected one, the fully Self-Awakened One.”
Discourse on “Born of Affection”: The Seventh
- Translator: I.B. Horner
