thag.6.6 Theragatha

Sappadāsa

In the twenty-five years
since I went forth,
I have not found peace of mind,
even as long as a finger-snap.
Since I couldn’t get my mind unified,
I was racked by desire for pleasures of the senses.
Wailing, with outstretched arms,
I left my dwelling.
Shall I … or shall I slit my wrists?
What’s the point of living?
For how on earth can one such as me die
after resigning the training?
Then I picked up a razor,
I sat on a cot:
the razor was ready
to slice my vein.
Then the realization
came upon me—
the danger became clear,
and I was firmly disillusioned.
Then my mind was freed—
see the excellence of the teaching!
I’ve attained the three knowledges,
and fulfilled the Buddha’s instructions.